The Official Newsletter of the 36th Annual Great Walleye Assault
Bishop Announces New Safety Measures
Eagle River, WI GWA Safety Director Mike “Mikey” Bishop on Thursday announced new safety measures that he planned on implementing at GWA-2020. The announcement came during happy hour at the Kickback Grill on Eagle River’s north side.
“In the wake of all the hysteria about the Corona virus, I’m putting my foot down and banning anyone from bringing Corona beer into camp,” declared Bishop, slamming his pint of Leinie’s Creamy Dark on the bar. “I’m still going to allow limes, though, because I want Joe to keep making margaritas and because I think we have the Lyme disease thing under control.”
While the announcement was met with decided indifference from the happy hour crowd at the Kickback, the Leinie’s Guys were nearly unanimous in their support for Bishop’s decision.
“Good call by Mikey,” assessed Leinie’s Guy Jackson Alters. “My body is like a fine-tuned Ferrari and I don’t want anything messing it up.”
“Yep, yep, yep it looks like Mikey is on top of it,” stated Leinie’s Guy Deano Radke. “I had too many Coronas that one time when I was pheasant hunting in Iowa and was puking sick for two days…don’t want that again.”
“While I’m not sure that Mikey has all the facts straight on this one, better safe than sorry,” nodded Leinie’s Guy Joe “JJ” Henry. “Just happy he’s still allowing limes in camp.”
“It’s this kind of forward thinking and advance preparation that has kept GWA going for the last three and a half decades,” declared Leinie’s Guy Dan ‘Keet’ Moericke, who was with Bishop and drinking a Leinie’s Kickback Ale when the announcement was made. “Well done, Mikey!”
“Did we everallow Corona in camp?” queried Leinie’s Guy Mark “Lard” Krueger, when informed of the decision. “I don’t think so, therefore this shouldn’t have much of an impact.”
“I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a Corona in camp,” echoed Puck Johnson. “But, like Joe said, better safe than sorry.”
Winter Summit Dates Set
Three Lakes, WI The dates have been set for the 13thannual GWA Winter Summit meeting and early indications are that all Leinie’s Guys will be in attendance.
“The Summit this year is moving to the new Puck Johnson palace on the shores of Medicine Lake,” announced GWA Coordinator Buck Tailspinner. “Dates for the Summit are March 8-10.”
“We originally looked at holding it March 6-8, which is on a weekend,” ponied up Leinie’s Guy Keet Moericke. “But then Jackson suggested that, since we’re all retired, we move it to to avoid what he called ‘the weekenders’.”
“It’s those kind of out of the box ideas that make Jackson so brilliant,” nodded Leinie’s Guy Puck Johnson.
Opening ceremonies are slated for 5:00 pm on March 8that the Johnson compound.
Ask a Leinie’s Guy…
Once again, the Leinie’s Guy scratches the bottom of his mail sack to answer queries from one of his many admirers.
Q. Hey Leinie’s Guy, now that all of the Leinie’s Guys are retired, will they be making more public appearances other than the 4thof July parades?
-Just Askin in Onalaska
- Well, before we flip the top off of this can of worms let me just pop the top on an ice-cold can of Leinie’s Canoe Paddler. Ahhhh, there, that’s better.
Now then, to the untrained eye it may seem like retirement is all fun and games and that a lot of time is spent just doing nothing. But as the great GWA philosopher JJ Henry has pointed out on numerous occasions – nothing is something.
Contrary to the popular belief that we’ve all got a lot of time on our hands, we’re all pretty darned busy…doing stuff or doing nothing, which, again, is really something.
So, to answer your question, no, we won’t be doing a lot more public appearances. Unless there’s beer involved, then yes, we probably will because we’re on fixed incomes. Now, somebody grab me another Paddler, cause I’m spent. Just sayin.
Krueger Gets New Hip
Appleton, WI 2019 GWA Angler of the Year Mark ‘Lard-dog’ Krueger spent the GWA off-season getting his second new hip installed. Surgery was scheduled for early January to assure that he would be able to sprint to the outhouse by the time GWA-2020 rolled around.
“It’s going good,” reported Krueger when asked about the rehab process. “I’m hoping to be able to do some of those ballet kicks that JJ has promised to show us at the GWA campfire.”
“It’s going to be hard keeping up with the Lard-dog this year,” stated Leinie’s Guy Deano Radke. “The wife just got one of those new hips and she’s dancing around and doing cartwheels like a kid. I expect Lard will be the same.”
Henry Attends Ballet
Wausau, WI Always the Renaissance man, on Wednesday Leinie’s Guy Joe “JJ” Henry became the first Leinie’s Guy in history to attend a ballet and actually sit all the way through it.
Stated Henry, “For years I’ve heard Keet talk about going to the ballet, so I thought I might see him there. Turns out, he goes to a different kind of ballet.”
When asked how he enjoyed the performance, Henry said it was fine, but he was able to see entirely too much of the male dancers’ junk. “It’s like when Deano walks around camp in his white long underwear,” explained Henry.
“Well, good for Joe,” acknowledged Leinie’s Guy Dale “Puck” Johnson. “Maybe he can teach us some new moves around the campfire.”
“I’ll probably be good at ballet stuff,” speculated Leinie’s Guy Jackson Alters. “I broke a backboard when I dunked a basketball once, you know.”
Like the turbines on Hoover Dam during flood season, the wheels of GWA are starting to spin faster.
We’ve got the Winter Summit bearing down on us like a Cheese Queen at an all-you-can-eat buffet. It’ll be here before you know it!
The grand event of them all, GWA is just a scant 75 days away, men! Thank God we don’t have to be bothered by going into work every day, which used to cut into our prep time something fierce!
Lard-dog, get that hip loosened up! Keet, put more than 100 feet of line on your reels! JJ, get your grill shined up! Jackson, find your rain gear! Puck, buy a new boat! Mikey, find a new bar to replace Gootch’s! Deano, organize your kitchen! Let’s get busy, men!!
PS. Make sure to get in your Wives of GWA photos for inclusion in this year’s calendar as well as your topic for the Campfire Chat series.
GWA-2020 is slated for May 6-17 at the Big Lake Campground.